I have an incredible love for animals and do not condone cruelty to any of God’s beautiful creatures. However, I do NOT feel at all awkward about discussing the cold-hearted murder of bunnies….Dust Bunnies, that is.
In order to become an effective hunter of these clever little creatures, one must develop a firm understanding of what they’re made of, where they hide and what makes them run. Let’s begin….
Wikipedia defines dust bunnies as “small clumps of dust that form under furniture and in corners that are not cleaned regularly. They are made of hair, lint, dead skin, spider web, dust, and sometimes light rubbish and debris, and are held together by static electricity. They can actually be harmful when they house dust mites or other parasites.” I concur.
The pesky part about dust bunnies is that they’re quite skittish and fast. You’ve seen how they start running away as you walk by…. Get too close to them with a certain vacuum and they really fly! Seriously, these guys are easily disturbed by the lightest breeze, so the trick is to sneak up behind them with your vacuum cleaner. First, make sure your vacuum’s exhaust air is pointed away from your prey. Prepare your vacuum’s hose attachment and extension wand, then aim…No bunny can outrun direct suction like that!
The various species of dust bunny call different places “home.” Some prefer the airy, open habitat under the dining room table or in the hall. Other species opt for more seclusion like under beds or couches. You may have noticed that the big ones prowl openly on hard floors…carpeting impedes their growth and mobility. The small yet diabolical variety that nest in your computer or other electronics can cause quite a lot of damage to electrical components. Ultimately, the more often you raid the bunnies’ respective environments, the less likely they are to emerge (or at least they won’t grow to such beastly proportions!)
Know where to hunt and be prepared with the right weapons. Again, your vacuum is numero uno in your arsenal! Dust bunnies are no match for the speed and power of your vacuum combined with the versatility of its tools. Plus, the filth and disease these buggers harbor will be safely quarantined in the belly of your vacuum until it’s emptied.
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